eli · Life in Missouri · Marriage · Relationships

Why You Need to Date Your Spouse

Last night, Eli and I went on a date. I was sick on Valentine’s Day, so we postponed going out. It was the first time in four months since we’ve been out without Karis! 

Unfortunately, moving to Missouri made it a challenge to go anywhere without her since we didn’t have many people we could ask to babysit. We are blessed that Eli works with incredible people, so one of his coworkers came over to watch her 😊 (thank you Jade if you read this). 

Eli and I went to a movie (we saw La La Land). It was romantic, so it really made the date extra special. My favorite part about the date though, was just being able to talk and spend time together without having to give my husband only a portion of my attention. For all of you married people out there, I know I don’t have to explain how hard it is to focus on your spouse when young kiddos are around. It’s pretty much impossible. Anyway, we sat through the movie uninterrupted, drank a slurpee and ate a bunch of candy, walked hand-in-hand (pretty much impossible when carrying around a diaper bag and car seat), and had time to just be with each other. It was plain AWESOME 🙌🏼. 

Our date reminded me how special my husband is and how important it is that we have time together. Today, Eli texted me and thanked me for our date again. He said we needed to do it more often. I responded saying, “We do need to do it more often. You know it’s bad when time together like that felt foreign. Kids grow up and leave. Spouses don’t.” I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t slightly sad to leave Karis last night, because I was. But, I can’t be the wife or mom God has created me to be if I don’t spend quality time pouring into Eli and Karis individually. I get to be home with Karis all day while Eli is at work. In the evenings and on the weekends, the three of us are always together. I sure do cherish all of these times. However, if quality time with the one person I am going to spend the rest of my life with takes a backseat, how do I expect our relationship to grow and thrive? 

One of my mentors told me the longer you go without leaving your baby, the more challenging it will become to do it. It’s so true. Leaving Karis after four months was hard. But, I know it’s just going to get harder if we don’t do it more often. Leaving Karis allowed Eli and I to spend quality time together and gave me the opportunity to miss her. Plus, she is learning to enjoy life without us around all of the time. She’s learning to be more social with others and is able to build trust with safe people in her life besides us.  

There’s nothing negative I can say about this experience. Leave your children with people you trust and go on a date! Show your spouse love and respect by making time for him/her. Invest in the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Do your part to cultivate a loving relationship with your spouse. Become or continue to be best friends and learn more about him/her. When you invest, you also benefit from it. I felt so loved and cared for on our date. It was wonderful. And best of all, the quality time deposit didn’t end there. I didn’t just feel loved then. I still feel and know I’m loved by him now. 

I know that if my relationship with Eli is healthy and vibrant, our relationships with our daughter and future kids are going to be amazing too! But, those relationships won’t be at their best if the relationship I have with him doesn’t take priority. 

What do you appreciate about spending quality time with your spouse? I’d love to hear!

P.S. Thanks for reading ❤

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